10 reasons not to stay in India

Just for the fun of it, Carlos, Julien and I bitched about India. Here's what came up :

1. Too many people. With a population of 1.1 billions, it's hard to get free space. It gets annoying to always be in a crowd.

2. Too much heat or to much rain. You're all wet either because you're too sweaty or because it's poaring down rain. Try to be efficient with 42 degres celcius, no wonder they take 10 people for 10 months to do a month job...

3. Too much garbage and too many dogs. It spoils everything especially visual wise, who wants to spend their vacation on a dirty beach infested with errant dogs?

4. Too many bad smells. More than 70% of the smells here are rotten, either from the garbage, cow poop, urine, etc. No wonder they use so much incens.

5. Air pollution. No need for explaination.

6. Traffic. The traffic here is just terrible. The roads are shit and people drive like dumbasses. It takes over an hour and a half for a usual 15 minutes drive.

7. Head shaking/nodding. It's never clear, they mean yes when they shake their head sideways, barely distinct from no. To us, this would mean maybe, so it's always confusing.

8. Hand holding. It's ok to show your friendship, but this is simply over the line. I will never get used to these men handholding in the streets, no wonder they're the worst seducers.

9. It takes too long to date a chick. Interactions between men a women aren't as common as in other countries. The way to go is through sms apparently, after a week of text messaging you're good for a date. Sorry I'm the text message type.

10. White screwers, fake tourist guides. I would never believe anyone here, it such a individualistic culture, everyone tries to screw you, especially if you're white and don't speak hindi, and they many time succeed. My bargining skills are a lot better now.

11. The fully filled water bottles. What is the point of that, it's just obvious that when you will open the bottle there's gonna be water everywhere.

12. Train reservation. Endless lines, it's always complicated to fill out the form and no one is helpful.

13. Too many beggers, too many deformations. Where's the pride? They really try to suck the pity out of you and they really try hard, they'll follow you for miles and they'll poke you to death. On top of that, they show off their half dead baby or their missing foot, second thumb or whatever deformaty they have, and believe me, I've seen many. The ones that stay on the ground aren't too bad because you walk by but I am now pretty rude with the pokers as I slap any hand close to touching me and look straight and say "You don't touch me", it actually works most of the time.

14. Cricket. It's just not a good sport, it's even worst than curling or baseball and it's just everywhere.

15. The sissy lifeguards. They just don't let anyone in the water so they don't have to rescue anyone. Ignoring them kind of works useless you're annoyed with wisthling.

16. I am so over 10 reasons, I think i I prooved my point.